In the 1950s, the term “over-the-hill” caught on in England. Not long after that, Hallmark Cards picked it up as a funny, derisive way to describe what it means to be 50. I do think it’s time we pursue a class action lawsuit against Hallmark given the ageist nature of their birthday cards. Just sort of kiddin’.

But, when you think about it, not only is your view much better over-the-hill, but the hike is easier. When you’re climbing up that damn hill in your 20s, 30s, and 40s, you’re striving and achieving without any view but the incline ahead. When we reach the top, we have a sense of accomplishment and we gain momentum as we start our path down enjoying the view along the way. 

But, for so many of us, we hit the midpoint of our adult life - our middlescence - and we are unwilling to discover new ways to grow like we did in adolescence. 

Someone said to me recently, “Chip, you’re showing your age…and it’s beautiful.” I’d never thought of showing one’s age as being positive. But, I do know there are two key verbs that will influence how we experience our aging process: “Growing” versus “Getting.” “Growing older” suggests that you are an “old growth human,” who prioritizes emotional, cultural, relational, spiritual, intellectual, and, yes, physical growth during your whole lifetime. “Getting older” sounds like a passive affliction. Yes, you’ve pursued a career, bought your home, dutifully launched your kids, and been a positive influence in your community. But, for so many of us, we hit the midpoint of our adult life - our middlescence - and we are unwilling to discover new ways to grow like we did in adolescence. 

Hey, to all you 49 year olds who may be at the peak of your hill, actress Hannah Waddingham, who played Rebecca in the TV series “Ted Lasso,” turned 50 last year and suggests, “You’ll never know yourself more than when you’re about to turn 50.” It’s prime time for deciding whether I am going to “grow” or “get” in the second half of my adulthood. 

so many of us leave our second adulthood to chance, passively waiting for the cosmic butler to show up and announce, “Your life is now served.”

Writer James Hollis writes, “Midlife is an opportunity to reexamine our lives and to ask the sometimes frightening, always liberating question: ‘Who am I apart from my history and the roles I have played?’” Sometimes it requires us to be radically stunned into consciousness. It’s been said, Serendipity is too important to be left to chance. Yet, so many of us leave our second adulthood to chance, passively waiting for the cosmic butler to show up and announce, “Your life is now served.” You don’t need a butler in your life to determine your roadmap.

One of the beauties of being at the peak of the hill is you can survey where you’ve been and where you’re going. You have time to consciously curate the second half of your life.

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One of the beauties of being at the peak of the hill is you can survey where you’ve been and where you’re going. You have time to consciously curate the second half of your life. People often reflect at the top of a hill or mountain. At the Modern Elder Academy (MEA), we call this the “midlife atrium,” creating the spaciousness you feel in a physical atrium with enough light and air to give you a sense of inspiration for how you want to grow during that lovely downhill stretch of your life, a time when you are less focused on your own achievement and more on the stunning view. And, as we’ve all experienced, it’s easier to have a pleasant conversation when we’re walking down a hill than when we’re huffing and puffing to climb that hill. Our social relationships often flourish in this era of our lives. 

I’d say we’re overdue for a reframe on what it really means to be "over the hill.” I asked ChatGPT to write me a poem about the upside of being over-the-hill. Here’s what came back:

They call it "over the hill," as if it's a fall,
But from this height, I can see it all.

The winding paths, the roads I’ve climbed,
Each step a verse in a life well-rhymed.

The air is clearer, the noise fades away,
Wisdom's glow lights the end of each day.

The pace may be slower, but the view is divine,
A landscape of moments that shimmer and shine.

So here on the summit, I pause, fulfilled—
Being "over the hill" is the dream I’ve built.