Ever thought about how much of our lives are spent dreaming? In the '70s, classic rock bands like Aerosmith, Supertramp, and Fleetwood Mac captured our imaginations with songs like Dream On, Dreamer, and Dreams, exploring the mysterious pull of our subconscious. Turns out they were onto something — a growing body of research shows our dreams are crucial for our mental and emotional well-being, especially as we navigate midlife.

It’s not just the quantity of sleep that matters; it’s the quality, and in particular how much time we spend dreaming.

It’s not just about time

For years, the conversation around sleep has centred on duration—more hours, better rest. A solid 8 hours? The gold standard. Now, studies suggest it’s not just the quantity of sleep that matters; it’s the quality, and in particular how much time we spend dreaming. Neuroscientist and author of This Is Why You Dream, Dr. Rahul Jandial argues in a recent Guardian article that dreams serve many functions, including “keeping our minds nimble, making us more intuitive, giving us outrageous scenarios so we can better understand the everyday, serving as an overnight therapist, and rehearsing threats so that we’re better prepared.” 

... dreaming can reduce the emotional sting of painful memories

In his book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, Matthew Walker emphasizes that dreaming can reduce the emotional sting of painful memories and provide a “virtual reality space” where our brains can safely explore, learn, and spark creativity. So, if you’ve ever felt stuck on a project or unsure about a decision, your best answers may be waiting for you in your dreams. 

Dreaming as therapy

Midlife is often stereotyped as a crisis—a time of upheaval and self-doubt. Thankfully we’re making a slow cultural shift toward a more nuanced —and research-backed —understanding of what’s happening for those of us in this stage of life. As we navigate midlife’s many invitations and transformations, dreams can play a role in helping us gain clarity. They can act as a mirror that reflects our deepest fears, hopes, and unresolved conflicts. As Kari Hohne writes in The Mythology of Sleep: The Waking Power of Dreams, our dreams offer a limitless perspective, helping us break free from habitual ways of thinking and revealing truths about ourselves that we might not see in the daylight.

They can alter how we respond to stress, anxiety, and even affect our relationships, providing a subconscious outlet that helps us process and manage our emotions more effectively.

If you’ve ever had a dream in which you had a heated argument with a loved one, or in which someone you care about was hurt or lost, you know how dreams can have a real impact on our emotions, our behaviour and our mood when we’re awake. Manoj Kumar’s research in the International Journal of Indian Psychology explores how dreams influence our emotional regulation, decision-making, and reactions to everyday situations. They can alter how we respond to stress, anxiety, and even affect our relationships, providing a subconscious outlet that helps us process and manage our emotions more effectively.
‍

From lucid dreams to everyday insights

For those who love a good night’s sleep, there’s even more good news: lucid dreams, where the dreamer is aware and can often control the narrative, may hold special benefits. They offer a unique opportunity to rehearse real-life scenarios, confront fears, and explore alternate solutions in a safe, consequence-free environment. Whether it’s facing an important conversation or simply testing out new ideas, lucid dreaming gives us a playground to refine our thoughts and strategies.

And if you’re looking for real-world inspiration, look no further than The Beatles. Paul McCartney famously credited dreams with the creation of songs like “Yesterday” and “Let It Be,” underscoring how our subconscious can be a wellspring of creativity. Francis Crick, one of the scientists who discovered the DNA structure, also suggested in his 1983 article The Function of Dream Sleep that dreams help us process traumatic events and unlearn irrelevant information, acting as a nightly brain reset that keeps us emotionally balanced.

Midlife, a time to dream 

As you navigate the transitions of midlife, whether that’s a career change, empty nesting, or reevaluating relationships, dreams can provide a space for self-reflection, helping guide you through life’s complexities with newfound clarity. As we sleep, our brains are not just resting; they’re working hard to process, heal, and prepare us for whatever comes next. Francesco Castellet y Ballarà, in his work on neuro psychodynamics, describes dreams as a direct route to self-awareness and emotional regulation—key ingredients for a balanced and fulfilling life.

Practical tips for harnessing your dreams 

To harness the benefits of dreaming, try keeping a journal or notebook by your bed and get into the habit of recording your dreams as soon as you wake. Pay attention to how your dreams make you feel and write that down, too. Over time, reflect on any recurring themes, as these can shed light on unresolved issues and provide valuable insights. 

Next time you drift off, remember: those vivid, strange, and sometimes unsettling dreams are doing more than just filling the night—they’re helping you navigate the twists and turns of midlife with greater grace and wisdom. They’re not about escaping reality but about understanding your reality in a deeper, more meaningful way.