I thrive on change. Whether moving to a new city solo, launching a business during a pandemic, or literally being stuck on a cruise ship in March 2020 as the world shut down, change is my jam. I’ve learned to embrace, even welcome, the uncertainty and possibilities it brings. 

So, when I was asked to write an article on change, I thought, “Great. I’ve got this.” Then they clarified: “Actually, it’s about habit change.” And I thought, “Oh. That’s a whole different beast.”

Let’s be honest— the hardest change isn’t navigating circumstantial shifts or reacting to life’s curveballs (I mean, I can roll with the punches). Hard change is internal change. New habits demand a shift in mindset, adopting new behaviours, rewriting beliefs, confronting discomfort and building emotional resilience.

Michael Bungay Stanier, author of “The Advice Trap,” likens hard changes to installing a new operating system—it’s not about minor updates but rewiring deeply ingrained patterns. That’s why habits, tied so closely to identity and comfort, are the hardest to shift.

This kind of change doesn’t come with adventure or novelty. It’s repetitive, frustrating, and often painfully slow. 

As someone who’s battled procrastination, a sweet tooth, and overly ambitious resolutions, I’ve learned that even small habits require effort and consistency.

As someone who’s battled procrastination, a sweet tooth, and overly ambitious resolutions, I’ve learned that even small habits require effort and consistency. Habit change may be hard, but it’s also powerful and transformative. 

The trouble with being overly ambitious

When it comes to habits, my optimism can work against me. Believing I can do anything often leads to overcommitting. Every January 1st, like clockwork, I used to sit down with a fresh planner and a long list of resolutions for every corner of my life. I’d imagine a sparkling new version of myself, free from bad habits, thriving by February. Then, by mid-January, I’d crash under the weight of my ambition, and it was back to eating wine gums and watching too much Netflix. 

Enter James Clear’s “Atomic Habits,” a game-changing book that taught me why real transformation comes from small, consistent steps, not Herculean efforts. 

In a more recent article, Clear busts the myth that a habit forms in 21 or 30 days. In reality, research from University College London shows it takes an average of 66 days to form a habit—but the timeline varies widely, from 18 to 254 days, depending on the person, and the complexity of the habit.

The timeline isn’t the point—repetition is. It’s about showing up consistently, no matter how small the effort. 

As a coach, writer, and facilitator, staying informed and inspired is vital. Yet I wasn’t making time for it.

Reading my way to thought leadership

One of Clear’s ideas that transformed my approach was habit stacking and nowhere has this been more impactful than in my goal to read more. As a coach, writer, and facilitator, staying informed and inspired is vital. Yet I wasn’t making time for it. My comfortable habit was Netflix. Watching Netflix while doing chores? Easy. Sitting down with a book that requires focus and attention? Hard. 

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Enter habit stacking. I paired my morning coffee (a well-established habit) with reading one chapter a day (a new habit). That simple shift transformed my mornings. Reading one chapter a day has led to more books, more inspiration, and more ideas for my business. Consistency, not intensity, is what matters most.

When faced with a big project, I circle it like eagle hunting prey. Instead of diving in, I organize my desk, tackle easy tasks, or tell myself I need two uninterrupted hours to begin.

Procrastination: My circling eagle

If procrastination were an art form, I’d be Picasso. When faced with a big project, I circle it like eagle hunting prey. Instead of diving in, I organize my desk, tackle easy tasks, or tell myself I need two uninterrupted hours to begin. Sound familiar?

This year, I’ve set a goal to write a book—my most ambitious project yet. To break the procrastination cycle, I’ve carved out 90 minutes of writing time each morning before the day gets busy. I remind myself: Progress, not perfection. Even if I only touch the project for 10 minutes, it’s a win. That mindset keeps me moving forward without the paralyzing weight of perfectionism. So far so good. 

Four other habits that changed everything

Over time, I’ve learned other strategies, inspired by Clear’s approach, that work well for me:

• Reduce friction: When my gym moved further away, my workouts dwindled. To get back on track, I joined a gym closer to home with easy parking. No excuses.
• Start small: Instead of committing to a 10-mile walk, I promised myself 10 minutes a day. Even on your worst days, you can do 10 minutes. Most days, it’s more. The magic is showing up.
• Tie to identity: Habits as outcomes are not as effective as habits tied to identity. When I stopped thinking I wanted to read more and started believing that I’m the kind of person who prioritizes learning, everything shifted. Identity gives habits purpose. It turns “what I do” into “who I am.”
• Add friction: This involves creating barriers between you and your habit. I once asked my husband to hide my beloved wine gums to limit my intake. Spoiler: it didn’t work. I found the stash and took back control. Now, I just try to keep them out of the house—and my husband refuses to be my friction barrier. 

Progress, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.

Giving ourselves grace

Habit change is hard. It’s a messy, imperfect process, and even the best of us struggle. One thing I’ve learned is to be patient and give myself grace. Progress, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.

Your turn: Reflect and take action

What’s one small habit you could start today that might ripple into bigger changes in your life? 

What’s one habit you’re ready to tweak or let go of that isn’t serving you anymore?

Remember, it’s not about how big the steps are—it’s about taking them. Start small, show up, and give yourself the grace to grow. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the journey.

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