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Words to party by: 7 ways to honour guests and host with heart

Hosting this year? These simple, intentional tips will enrich your gathering — honouring life's splendour, without all the fuss.

This post is sponsored by
Excerpt from

Words to party by: 7 ways to honour guests and host with heart

Hosting this year? These simple, intentional tips will enrich your gathering — honouring life's splendour, without all the fuss.
This post is sponsored by
Excerpt from

Words to party by: 7 ways to honour guests and host with heart

Hosting this year? These simple, intentional tips will enrich your gathering — honouring life's splendour, without all the fuss.
Excerpt from

Words to party by: 7 ways to honour guests and host with heart

Hosting this year? These simple, intentional tips will enrich your gathering — honouring life's splendour, without all the fuss.

Words to party by: 7 ways to honour guests and host with heart

Hosting this year? These simple, intentional tips will enrich your gathering — honouring life's splendour, without all the fuss.

If there’s one time of year for party hosts to go all out, to reach for stemware and the nearest bottle of fizz, it’s the holiday season. Winter’s chilly darkness calls for warm company, festive fare, and the twinkling glow of candlelight.

As fun as it is to splurge on mouth-watering menus, jolly beverages — maybe even a bit of seasonal decor — juggling expenses and elaborate plans can sometimes sabotage good intentions. Decadence doesn't always lead to delight.

Parties work best when hosts lean less on mind-bending fanfare and instead focus on what I like to call grounded grandeur: simple, intentional choices that honour life's splendour without complicated logistics. 

If you’re looking to host with heart, and without breaking the bank, here are a few simple ways to leverage words to create a good time. Your sanity and wallet will thank you.

1

Send creative invitations

Anticipation amplifies the festive spirit. I’m all for crisp, colourful invites but when I can’t justify paper and postage, I send quick, personalized video greetings to accompany a standard email. A few thoughtful words and a signature smile convey more than cardstock ever could. 

2

Prepare memorable introductions

Simple on-the-fly intros between mingling guests will suffice but when I have effort to spare, I try preparing quick ceremonial greetings to establish connections. Formalities are a fun way to flex creativity and provide a memorable table activity. 

Need a starting point? If each guest was a song, which would they be and why? Try sticking within a decade. Better yet, stick with an artist. 

3

Pen simple place cards

If you only have time for one wordy activity, let it be this gracious gesture: place cards. They dissolve low-key stress when it’s time to be seated. Now’s your chance to play match-maker and influence social dynamics for good.

Joyful chemistry is the goal. Word to the wise? Disperse extroverts and separate couples. The temptation to discuss last-minute grocery runs and childcare logistics is real. (And really boring.)

“But while we have no control over time itself, we do have a choice in how we orient to it, how we inhabit the moment, how we own the past and open to the future - a choice that shapes our entire experience of life, that ossuary of time. And just as it bears remembering that there are infinitely many kinds of beautiful lives, it bears remembering that there are infinitely many ways of being in time.” - Maria Popova, The Marginalian 

Change of environment

I put on my ski gear, and pull my boot bag up on my back. Covered head to toe, I step outside. My skis are perched on my left shoulder, and my poles are in my right hand. I walk carefully down the snowy path and up through the village to the lift. It’s a sacred ten minutes of meditative rhythmic walking to warm me up for the day ahead. 

New snow has fallen – about twenty centimetres. The snow cats have groomed the mountain during the night. It’s early and I'll be on the first lift up to the slopes. 

This is the change of environment I crave the most at this time in my life. The movement from posed stability to energetic vulnerability, from the familiar to the serendipitous unknown, from the routine to the spontaneous. Here on the mountain I feel like I live life to its fullest. I feel more alive here than anywhere else. Curiosity is my catalyst — I could rest today, I could contemplate other days gone by, but I'm curious:  What will the snow be like? What will my balance and form be like? What shapes of clouds will appear? What breeze will freeze my nose? Where will the trail take me? It is ski season; adventurous, mysterious and invigorating. It provides another form of lifestyle filled with the sort of vulnerability I love.

Of course everyone knows that change is constant, but there is nowhere else in the world where I see, feel, hear, touch and taste this truth more clearly than here on the side of my favourite mountain.

This magic mountain that I've skied for years and years changes all the time. It's ironic really, as it is made of stone and rock, ice and dirt  - elements so strong and stable, so unmoving and unbudgeable, so unforgiving and invincible, yet it is forever changing. Of course everyone knows that change is constant, but there is nowhere else in the world where I see, feel, hear, touch and taste this truth more clearly than here on the side of my favourite mountain. Such a curious phenomenon — this alpine environment that moves and changes constantly, just like me. The weather forecast looks good today, colder than yesterday, but mostly sunny in the morning with the wind rising in the afternoon. Of course, this could change too.

Letting change flow

Arriving at the base of the mountain, I put on my ski boots, tuck my shoes away for the day, and once again perch my skis on my shoulder. I use my poles to help me navigate the steps up to the gates; it’s the beginning of the season and this morning routine of getting to the lifts still has me feeling a bit winded as I get used to the altitude. My friend is waiting for me. She and I smile brightly at each other and, seconds later, the buzzer goes off and the gates are activated. We are the first ones through, proud of ourselves for our early rising and excited to experience the thrill of another ski day together. We banter about the beautiful day ahead, our slight aches and pains and need for some stretching.

My friend is confident and bold — an expert skier. Me, I am not as confident and I am no expert. But I am bold, and she inspires me. Most of all, I am grateful for the change of scenery, communing with nature and the joy of being together again on the mountain.

Tensing up in anticipation of a coming bump or turn will surely cause a fall. The key to serenity on skis is letting change flow, becoming one with the change, and then being the change.

As we descend each run at our own pace, our skis pushing us beyond our unique comfort zones, we each experience individualized moments in the quiet rhythm of skiing. Every day on the slope is different, every turn of every carve into the snow is different, at times smooth and other times choppy. At all times, our minds must stay connected to our bodies. It is invigorating and mystifying, as we must disconnect from all worries and all other actions and stay absolutely present. Tensing up in anticipation of a coming bump or turn will surely cause a fall. The key to serenity on skis is letting change flow, becoming one with the change, and then being the change. 

After a few hours of skiing our favourite trails, I tell my friend I want to stop at a lookout spot, not because I’m tired but because I want to breathe in my surroundings. She says she’ll let me have a bit of alone time and we decide she’ll do another run and meet me back here. The sky is vast and filled with a multitude of blue hues, the clouds are fantastical and bright white. The fresh cold air is thinner up here; it smells minty as it passes through my nostrils and it tastes minerally as it drips down my throat. The steam rises from my scarf as I breathe in and out, feeling the warmth of my body. This change of environment is essential to my well-being. It’s not just any change of environment though. 

Chrono-diversity

It’s being up at altitude that thrills me most. The physicist Carlo Rovelli in his book “The Order of Time” captures the essence of my pause at the lookout spot. He writes, 

“I stop and do nothing. Nothing happens. I am thinking about nothing. I listen to the passing of time. This is time, familiar and intimate. We are taken by it…. Our being is being in time.”

I lived and worked in this village just below the slopes for ten years, all through my thirties, and now that I am retired, I return here as much as possible. Initially when I moved away, down to sea level and no longer at altitude, it took me a long time to adjust and to adapt to being in a different time zone, but not just a different chronometric time zone, but a different “chrono-atmospheric” time zone. 

I am fascinated by the way Rovelli explains how altitude changes time. He writes, “Let’s begin with a simple fact: time passes faster in the mountains than it does at sea level…

I am fascinated by the way Rovelli explains how altitude changes time. He writes, “Let’s begin with a simple fact: time passes faster in the mountains than it does at sea level… This slowing down can be detected between levels just a few centimetres apart: a clock placed on the floor runs a little more slowly than one on a table. It is not just the clocks that slow down: lower down, all processes are slower.” 

When I read this, I started to understand and accept why I had found it so challenging to transition from life up on the mountain to life in the valley. All of my processes had to become slower; my mental and physical, even spiritual relationships towards time had to change in order for me to adapt and to adjust to my new surroundings. It was a very unnerving time at first, and I found myself longing to return to the mountains. Despite the fact that I enjoyed my new job, raising my children and making new friends in a different culture, my personal processes, like my coping mechanisms, had slowed down and I needed to give myself time to accept the newness of this “chrono-diversity” at sea level.  

Some consider winter a time to slow down and rest, imitating elements of nature that hibernate and tuck in to escape the cold. But for me, it is this change of environment, this other way of being in time, this speeding up and expanding of time, that I long for in the winter months.

During those years, my friend stayed in the mountains; she never returned to life in the valley. And I believe this makes us different in the way we now measure time. Maybe her time does actually pass more quickly than mine? She is a speed queen and can get a million things done in one day. She thinks faster than I think, and certainly skis faster than I ski. 

Some consider winter a time to slow down and rest, imitating elements of nature that hibernate and tuck in to escape the cold. But for me, it is this change of environment, this other way of being in time, this speeding up and expanding of time, that I long for in the winter months. It’s the rigour and rhythm of mountain time. Rovelli writes, 

“Two friends separate, with one of them living in the plains and the other going to live in the mountains. They meet up again years later: the one who has stayed down has lived less, aged less, the mechanism of his cuckoo clock has oscillated fewer times. He has had less time to do things, his plants have grown less, his thoughts have had less time to unfold ... Lower down, there is simply less time than at altitude.” 

I guess the proof is “in the physics.” As I’ve learned, it is the changeability of time in the mountains that keeps me skiing through life. Even if it seems a bit ironic and mysterious to me, I imagine I will always feel this type of change to be constant in my life. Though I suppose, that could change too.

4

Swap lesser-known stories

You’ll have a captive audience so why not swap memorable tales while you sip that mulled wine? Inviting guests to arrive with a story is far easier than asking them to transport a wobbly dessert.

Not everyone’s a natural-born storyteller. That said, most guests possess anecdotes that they’ll share with ease. Offer fair warning and buckle up for tangents involving adolescent hilarity and bad haircuts.

5

Pose meaningful questions

Here’s an easy way to offer an element of surprise and provide low-key structure. Conversation cards simplify the job but if time isn’t an obstacle, try whipping up a few crowd-specific inquiries. 

My advice? Suggest a time limit and be the first to answer your question. It’s a generous way to set the tone for guests and prevent your lovable, long-winded friend from monopolizing the moment.

6

Share sincere encouragement

At its core, genuine hospitality is about making people feel seen and heard, not just delivering a good time. Heartfelt words satisfy like soul food and we live in a hungry world.

Not every gathering presents an easy opportunity to affirm a friend. Still, if you seek a chance, you’ll likely find one. Nourishing guests with words will sustain them more than any robust curry or creamy chocolate mousse. Look someone in the eye and speak up. Kindness costs nothing.

7

Send personalized thanks

This is my favourite way to wrap up a good time. Just because guests disperse doesn’t mean the party’s over. 

I like to keep connections strong by offering simple, specific words of thanks to all who participate. Gatherings come full circle with another round of personalized video greetings. Bloopers are best.

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This article is part of
Issue 2, Nov-Dec 2024, Gathering.
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