Approaching the third age

After a LinkedIn post prompted by a particularly challenging day at work, Annie Brandner —whom I knew from my days working for religious freedom — reached out, telling me about InHabit Magazine, and inviting me to contribute. My first thought, I must admit - was that if she is now in the second half of life, then at 61 I am fast approaching what my French friends refer to as la troisième age or the third age. The dreaded R word appears on the horizon. I find myself looking at campervans (RVs to you across the pond), planning holidays (vacations) for the coming one, two, three, even four summers! 

This is a time when, in theory, I should be slowing down. But with elderly parents, three consultancies, a job and, sadly, a wife going through chemo — plus two very active Border Collies and a tennis club that demands my presence 2-3 times a week — the idea of a paper, a pipe and a pair of slippers seems far far away. (NB I don’t, nor have I ever, smoked a pipe!)

A series of unconventional choices

So how – or maybe why — do I manage this juggling act three years off that mystical age of “when I’m 64”?

My choice echoes one made by a former colleague and city banker who chose, at the age of 55, to get off the career treadmill and become an accounts assistant for Hostelling International. As a career-focused 35 year old at the time, I could not comprehend his choice to sacrifice a great career and all its trappings just to spend 6 days a week on the golf course — especially while his wife continued to globe trot in her international marketing role.. But then, years later when I stepped down from my last CEO role, I also just knew I was done. 

I had a couple of engaging consultancies following that. I even tried teaching kids French and German in the very year the UK chose to commit its ultimate act of hari-kari – otherwise known as Brexit. So that didn’t end well. 

Then I came across a role managing a new church and community centre no more than half a mile from our house in Tottenham. I was 56. With no thought as to how such a role would look on my CV or whether I would ever manage a large organisation again, I happily accepted. Though to be candid, not without some trepidation. But this change in my life, no longer requiring long work trips away from home sometimes to far flung corners of the planet, was without a shred of a doubt,  the single best professional decision I ever made. 

The evidence is in the LinkedIn Post below, which started this petit voyage:

Cleaning toilets (not once but three times yesterday) wasn’t where I intended to be in my career aged 61. Nor was being told at 10.20pm when I tried to calm a noisy group in our residential area outside The Engine Room to “show some f*****g respect” (no sense of irony!) to a funeral party who decided to continue their event in the street. But that’s what community work is all about and at this stage in my life, the rewards of working locally and flexibly, seeing close up the results of your work (yes even a clean unblocked toilet can give you a feeling of a job well done (excuse the pun) and doing something which is so worthwhile more than makes up for it. And if you need a meeting space (with super clean loos) and would like to support a great cause, why not check us out? www.engineroom.org.uk
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Switching tracks, changing metrics

So now, approaching la troisième age, what did happen to my career? The son of a railway man, I like to think that I just took it off the fast track and chose the meandering line through more scenic places. While perhaps not the savviest choice on paper, the real life benefits have been plentiful. Not only do I enjoy more home time, a hugely improved work-life balance, but also interestingly an enhanced financial position, as I don’t find myself travelling or socialising as much as I once did plus I bring in a good income from consultancies (one of which involves me spending several weeks of the winter in an Italian ski resort with approximately one thousand students from across the globe! It’s tough, but someone has to do it.) 

If you are lucky enough to be in that deuxième age (second age), then why not consider your options even now? Less is often more. From here, I can say there is so much more to life than just work. And if, like me, you spent your 20s, 30s and 40s with work as your number one focus, then perhaps now is the time for a rethink. You may not want to be unblocking loos, but you can sure make a difference in your community. And if my experience is anything to go by, you will find a mental peace and emotional connection to those around you that was missing for much of that first half of life. Try it. You won’t be disappointed.