The relentless impossible beauty standards, the never-ending, ever-changing rules have you feeling excluded and exhausted. I’d say it’s a young woman’s game, but it’s always been a money-making game. So, are you ready to block out the noise, embrace your unique style and ready yourself for your next chapter? Me too.

Now, I am not saying it’s easy. And I’ll admit I still enjoy a youthful, glossy mag. But the impact it has on how we view ourselves, especially as we age, can’t be overlooked. It can keep us stuck in cycles of self-doubt, comparisonitis and, most detrimental of all, it keeps us shackled to a vision of our former youthful selves that no longer feel familiar or real.

taking back control and shaking off societal expectations can be a sweet freedom

When it comes to your style and how you present yourself to the world, taking back control and shaking off societal expectations can be a sweet freedom - and it’s the kind of freedom you deserve in midlife! I have found that embracing the fact that I really do have my own unique style – that doesn’t always align with anyone else’s ideals — has been key to building my confidence, and it serves me well. The rest of it - all the shoulds - I can leave on the cutting room floor, or the pages of Glamour magazine.

Before we continue here, let’s tackle a fundamental question: Why does this matter? I mean, do you even want to feel more stylish? Is it actually important? If that’s you, I hear you ask; should we not just reconcile ourselves to the 10 year old skinny jeans or the calf-length cardigan from the 80’s? What does it matter?

some will say that anything that sounds like “fashion” is frivolous, unnecessary and probably costs too much. But what’s also costly, especially as you age, is overlooking the power of feeling good in your own body and in the clothes you choose

Well, I am here to suggest that the way you show up each day is important no matter your age, your career or your aspirations. I know some will say that anything that sounds like “fashion” is frivolous, unnecessary and probably costs too much. But what’s also costly, especially as you age, is overlooking the power of feeling good in your own body and in the clothes you choose. Style psychology is real - and it starts with the fact that how we see and care for ourselves, our bodies and our appearance impacts our confidence and how we engage with the world around us. It also makes a very real impact on how others see and respond to us, but we’re not doing any of this for them. We’re doing this for us. 

‍Midlife in the internet age

Thanks to the internet, we have countless examples of women in middle age and beyond who are living their lives their way, with their own wild and amazing styles. This is the influencer era, with no shortage of silver-haired midlife mavens showing us a wide array of what’s possible. Our generation  has every reason and opportunity to embrace our passions, our bodies, and our creative expressions while dressing for our best chapter yet!

I’m here to help you craft a style reinvention that’s all yours. Or if that’s too much, I’m here to nudge you in the right direction.

So, as your resident stylist— who is experiencing these changes and challenges of midlife right alongside you — I’m here to help you craft a style reinvention that’s all yours. Or if that’s too much, I’m here to nudge you in the right direction. Below are some tools you can use — some of them might feel weird for you, some might feel just right, some, with just a few tweaks, might inspire you to get moving. Choose what works. Let’s get started!

‍Tip 1: Get intentional about what you’re affirming 

Taking time to notice and affirm who you are is a powerful tool. Intentionally affirming your sense of identity, especially during a season of life that seems to upend everything in and around you, can help strengthen and, when needed, re-shape your self perception. Positive affirmations may feel weird, but they’re just about actively reminding yourself of what’s true. They can help you embrace your unique beauty and individuality rather than reinforcing the kind of frustration or resignation many of us have felt after years of trying to conform to narrow definitions of style and aging.

Let’s talk specifics. It could be something like “I love my body and I am confident in my clothes/outfit choices” or “My style is a powerful/playful/beautiful representation of who I am.” 

Try it for yourself and see how it can help you reframe those thoughts - even the ones way below the surface - that might sound like “I am not good enough” or “I will never measure up.” As you embrace your own journey and tune out the unrealistic versions of “beauty” around you, you can shift your mindset and find a renewed sense of freedom.

Tip 2: Take a photo everyday

Take a photo of yourself, wearing an outfit you chose. I love this as a way of really seeing yourself (and being able to look back at your own evolution). These photos help you figure out what you love - or don’t really love - about how your clothes fit on your amazing and unique body. As you learn what does and doesn’t work, you’ll make adjustments and find clothes that help you look and feel the way you want to look and feel in your clothes: whether that’s powerful, comfortable, playful, strong, beautiful, tough, soft, relaxed. 

Start documenting your outfits, noticing how you feel in each one and the difference you see when  you change the jacket, neckline, or the silhouette. Over time, you’ll see styles emerge that reflect what you love. Glimpses of the you that you imagine. These are small, meaningful wins that unlock a greater sense of freedom. With each win, you reinforce the idea that who you see in the mirror is a reflection of your most authentic self and not defined by age or societal norms. 

‍Tip 3: Try new things 

Experience has taught me that familiarity is often the thief of reinvention and new beginnings. So commit to trying something new each day (or each week - you do you). I don’t mean a whole new outfit necessarily, I mean putting on a bold accessory you love but that has never left your drawer, or combining new things, or trying a different colour palette. When we shake things up, we often rediscover the joy in getting dressed. My challenge to you is to make new style choices on a regular basis, and have fun with it. Experimentation is the only way to step away from those choices you have been making for years, day in and day out. Trust me - the thrill of loving a new outfit that you put together (even if it took 10 or 100 tries) is real. It builds confidence and empowers you to keep exploring your own sense of style outside all those old societal boxes. 

‍Tip 4: Define your style message

In midlife, with so many changes and losses, it can be really easy to lose our sense of self, of direction and of purpose. Defining your style (and your style message as I call it) can be a helpful and powerful tool in getting grounded and redefining who you are in this new chapter.  When you work on defining your style, it allows you to dig deep to understand your values, what you want to achieve and how you want to show up now. 

Maybe you’re in the midst of a career change, or a promotion. Or maybe it’s time to retire and you want to be dressed your best for all the lunch dates you’ve got lined up. Your style can be intentional and reflect your unique lifestyle, personality and sense of self. Consider your own style message. You deserve to own it unapologetically.

‍Own it

All these steps will help you move away from old, outdated, unhelpful style stories you’ve held onto through the years. It’s time to celebrate who you are and how you look now, and understand that you are the only one who gets to define your beauty, confidence and midlife style. 

That might mean wearing that dress or that suit jacket, going for that shorter skirt length or shopping for those pieces that you have wanted for so long, but have not felt worthy of. Shake off all those old messages, and embrace the beautiful freedom midlife affords. This is your moment to go after the style and feel you want, to take chances, have fun, define your style and then really own it. A style that is intentional, tailored and uniquely yours will help you walk with your head held high, speak up in new rooms and cultivate a new, stronger sense of yourself that you’ll love.

A style reinvention is waiting for all of us, we just need to take the leap. Ready? I can’t wait to see how your life transforms.  Drop me a note and tell me how it feels. 

Now, go be your great self. I’m cheering you on!