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The Joy of Missing Out, or JOMO, is the antidote to the fear of missing out (FOMO) that often drives our hyperconnected lives.
JOMO is about consciously choosing presence over distraction, depth over superficiality, and meaningful engagement over mindless consumption. It’s about using technology intentionally and aligning your digital habits with your values. For me, JOMO represents a profound shift—a choice to reclaim joy and connection in a world that constantly pulls us away from what matters most.
Reflections on a hyperconnected life
My journey toward JOMO began years ago, in a season of feeling stretched thin and digitally overwhelmed. I vividly remember the moment that changed everything: sitting at my kitchen table, watching my kids play outside, while I scrolled mindlessly through my phone. I was there physically, but my mind was miles away. That realization—that I was missing the moments that mattered most—sparked a shift in me. I knew I needed to reclaim my presence. For those of us in midlife, this realization is particularly poignant. JOMO is more than an idea; it’s a lifeline to living well.
This realization inspired much of my work and writing. It led to my first book, The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World. Writing that book was a deeply personal journey, weaving together research with my own experiences of disconnecting and rediscovering what it means to truly live. I kept building on that foundation when I wrote Good Burdens, exploring how the effort we put into meaningful activities leads to richer, more fulfilling lives. Together, these ideas and principles have guided me—and many others—toward a path of intentional living.
JOMO isn’t about rejecting technology entirely; it’s about creating space for intentional living.
JOMO: A midlife mindset shift
JOMO isn’t about rejecting technology entirely; it’s about creating space for intentional living. As I’ve navigated the ebbs and flows of midlife, I’ve discovered how much my priorities have shifted. What once felt important—doing it all, staying constantly connected—now feels like noise. Increasingly, I find myself looking for margin. Saying yes to a few focused priorities each year and using technology to support these aims.
For example, this year I’ve chosen to go deep on relationships with my siblings, of which there are many! Seven, in fact. My sister and I have been talking about planning a getaway for the two of us for more than five years. We finally decided to make a go of it and I jumped into ChatGPT for assistance. My sister and I chose a weekend and defined our hopes for our experiences together — easy for each of us to travel to, a cottage vibe, hiking, long talks and good food. We narrowed our prompts down to the granular and locked on a weekend away — in a location we’d both never even heard of. Now, an adventure is in motion and, in part thanks to tech, we’ve already deepened our relationship in the process.
One thing this sibling priority means is, less available time for friends. I run my own company, travel frequently for work, and am married with three kids. Our calendar is so filled with extracurriculars, church and work commitments, it often feels like we can’t keep up. Good digital scheduling helps. Trimming back my standing commitments with friends on Google Calendar and WhatsApp hasn’t been easy, but none of us can do it all — at the same time. There is a season for everything.
The more I embrace JOMO, the more I find freedom in choosing fewer, deeper commitments. My mornings are a sacred part of this practice: I start each day tech-free, enjoying a quiet cup of tea or journaling to ground myself before engaging with the world.
The costs of constant connectivity
We live in a world that equates busyness with value, but at what cost? Hyperconnectivity leaves little room for reflection or connection. I think back to a client, a busy entrepreneur in her 50s, who came to me feeling utterly depleted. Her days were consumed by endless notifications and emails, leaving her little time for her family.
Together, we implemented tech-free dinners and a "digital sunset" after 8 PM. The results were transformative: she felt calmer, more connected, and finally able to prioritize the people she loved.
Practical steps to embrace JOMO
- Define your values: What truly matters to you? Use these values as a compass to determine where your time and energy go. Post three core values where you can see them every day, and use them as a litmus test for your digital decision-making. For example, the next time you’re scrolling Instagram and find yourself wanting for something you see online (FOMO, anyone?) — ask: is this even something I value? If not, let it go.
- Set boundaries: Schedule tech-free zones, such as during meals or before bedtime. These moments create space for mindfulness and connection. I am a big proponent of Digital Sabbaths - one day a week tech-free. (My friend Tiffany Shain’s 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week is a fantastic motivator if you want to get started.) The rise of tech detoxes and digital minimalism are signals that we want retreat.
A quote from artist Sabrina Ward Harrison is a favourite of mine, and a beautiful reminder: "You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to turn off your phone. You are allowed to lie down in the sun."
- Reclaim your mornings: Start your day without screens. Instead, meditate, journal, or enjoy a quiet cup of coffee. The mantra: “Sunlight before screenlight” applies here. The best thing we can do is get outside — allowing the natural rhythms of daylight and birdsong to set the course of our day. I recently added a daily 25-minute walk to my office each morning and home each evening into my routine and it has been one of the best decisions. I pump the whimsical melodies of Gungor into my AirPods and skip my way along.
- Curate your digital environment: Unfollow accounts that drain you and prioritize content that uplifts and informs. Here is a simple rubric for deciding which accounts to let go. Answer as quickly and intuitively as possible: Who or what is this? Is it important or does it bring me joy? Do I want to bring this with me? If the answer to any of these questions is no, unfollow. Less digital clutter. Joy!
- Celebrate your choices: Recognize the joy in choosing presence over distraction. JOMO isn’t about scarcity; it’s about abundance in the things that matter most.
Midlife and the power of presence
Midlife is a time of transition, reflection, and rediscovery.
By embracing JOMO, we make room for the things that nourish us—whether that’s traveling, deepening relationships, or pursuing creative passions.
For me, it has been a season of peeling back the layers of distraction to uncover what truly brings joy. By embracing JOMO, we make room for the things that nourish us—whether that’s traveling, deepening relationships, or pursuing creative passions. I’ve found that these intentional choices lead to a life that feels more grounded and fulfilling.
A disconnected world isn’t the goal; a mindful one is. JOMO has taught me that by stepping away from the noise, we can step into a life richer in meaning, connection, and joy. And that, I believe, is a gift worth sharing.
