What was the last thing you looked up on the internet?

The population of all the countries of the world. It was during my husband’s and my late night debate (read more in our discussion of play over here) . 

Is there a movie you think everyone should watch in their lifetime? 

The Mission. That may be a controversial answer right now, but I don't care. I think a very close runner-up might be The Fountain by Darren Aronofsky, which got booed out of the Toronto International Film Festival. I think if you get what the movie is trying to say — that's the key. Everything we've been talking about is embodied in that movie. 

Is there a book you think everyone should read? 

I wish everyone in North America would read the book I'm Right and You're an Idiot by James Hoggan. We all need to understand how our brains function, our confirmation bias, and how to approach one another when it comes to disagreeing. I actually don't even care if people read the whole book, but if they would just read at least the first half, I would be a very happy camper. 

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What are you reading now? (Updated by text September 2024) 

All Fours by Miranda July. Her talent is profoundly defeating and inspiring all at once. I actually wrote a post about it, saying, “The alchemy of truly good authorship is like the dark arts. To have something so fluid and creative hung so sturdily on a scaffolding of intention and razor sharp execution is more talent than I know where to put in my mind.” It’s a story of a woman in denial coming face-to-face with her own aging and perimenopause, but told with Miranda’s characteristic irreverence, raunchiness, wit and insight. It’s a masterpiece. 

I’m also reading The Presence Process for the fifth time and it’s a whole new thing every time I feel led to pick it up again. I am on the other side of integrating so many of my trauma charges and so, rather than taking me into them for integration, the process is now about trying to hold me in the here and now with nothing dramatic to anchor myself in. It’s a whole new challenge.

Do you have a go-to comfort food?

Yes! For as long as I can remember, my go-to comfort food has been British breakfast tea and a good, nutty, grainy toast with butter. Although it’s shifting at the moment because I'm really into Pa’i’ai right now, which is Hawaiian. A lot of people are familiar with poi, which is pounded taro with water mixed in. But when you don't mix in the water, and you just pound it — that’s Pa'i'ai. My partner's been grinding his own taro recently and making it for us. Over the 20 years I've lived in Hawaii, I've developed a taste for it. I'm in this love affair with it now and I eat it every single day — I love it so much. 

What actually got me into it was my time in Rwanda. In Rwanda, they have a food called ubugali, which is cassava flour that’s been mixed with hot water and pounded so it brings out the gluten and makes this gooey ball of dough that you just tear apart and eat. Pa'i'ai is very similar. So when I came home from Rwanda the last few times, I'd been desperately craving ubugali, missing it and wishing I had it at home. So Pa'i'ai has been my answer to that. And it's very comforting.

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