I like a good party, especially at this time of year. I enjoy dressing up, meeting new people, throwing on a sequinned something, and escaping the work-from-home bubble. As a middling extrovert who lives alone, that means I need to get out every now and again to be around people, and big gatherings offer a dose of energy and fun. 

But I’ve started to really value smaller, more intentional gatherings—focused on connection, simplicity, alignment with my core values and leveraging my social connections to support others. For someone balancing a full work schedule and a single life, finding ways to connect and support meaningfully is increasingly important. Over time, I’ve found that social gatherings have also become more than just fun—they've become a way to give back, not unlike charity, as they can be spaces for offering support and fostering meaningful connections with people and projects I care about.

While charity typically involves giving financial or material resources, investing your social currency is about using your connections, time, and presence to support others in more intentional, personal ways.

Investing in intentional, low-key gatherings

While charity typically involves giving financial or material resources, investing your social currency is about using your connections, time, and presence to support others in more intentional, personal ways. Whether it’s connecting people, sharing insight or just being a sounding board, small, intentional acts of generosity not only strengthen our relationships but also offer a deep sense of purpose. 

I love having people over, and recently I invited a few close friends over to hang out. The theme was, ‘Sweatpants welcome.’ We sat, ate, and talked. We asked each other questions about what was really going on, and made space for everyone to share. At the end of the get-together, I felt like I had deepened these friendships, something that doesn’t often happen at large parties, where conversations are often just surface-level.

At every turn, I see the power of social currency, how all the little ways we show up for each other can make a big difference.

The power of showing up

I’ve also put more effort into meeting people face-to-face and one-on-one. While it definitely  satisfies my extrovertedness, a lot of it is about connecting with people in my industry to catch up and to help them in whatever ways I can. That might be an introduction to people I know, connection with a trusted colleague, or passing on someone’s name to a fantastic recruiter. At every turn, I see the power of social currency, how all the little ways we show up for each other can make a big difference.

As the holidays approach, I’ve been focusing on ways to deepen friendships and family connections while embracing the season as a happily single person. That means saying yes to the right invitations while balancing my need for solitude so I can recharge. It means helping where I can while protecting my own peace, especially at a time  when low-key hostility and a lack of empathy seem to be seeping into every part of society. It’s about saying the right amount of yes without feeling guilty for each important no - usually to those who focus on taking whatever they can get  instead of developing a relationship. 

I’ve found myself prioritizing these smaller, more intimate settings as a way to reconnect with people in a way that aligns with my core values. Embracing the season with a focus on connection, simplicity, and shared moments has been deeply fulfilling—and serves as proof that a single life can be both full and enriching during the holidays and beyond.

Creating a mix that works

The right mix of people is important. You could always just invite your nearest and dearest, but I’d argue that will keep you in a rut because you’ll see the same people, and have the same conversations over and over again. If you’re going to grow and leverage your social capital to support others, you have to connect and experiment with adding new people to the mix. 

When planning gatherings, I like to invite one or two new people who I think share the same energy, industry or interests to the mix. I usually start by inviting them to low-key events so there’s minimal pressure. Then I like to match them with a buddy, even if that buddy is me. That way, they have something to talk about and feel comfortable in the group. 

Why add new people to your friend or acquaintance group? One, it’s hard to make friends as an adult, and two, you never know what could happen when two strangers meet. Now, I am terrible at match-making but I’m good at connecting people for work, so I lean into my strengths. 

I’m in a good rhythm now of big and small gatherings that feels sustainable and aligned with what matters most. With both parties and purpose-driven gatherings, I get to enjoy my social time in ways that reflect my values and that emphasize genuine connection over just keeping busy. 

As the holidays approach, consider leaning into what really connects us — sharing our time, support, and kindness.

I still love the rush of a big event—the conversations, dressing up, and the chance to step outside my routine. But balancing these events with smaller, more intentional gatherings has been grounding. Now, when I’m at a party, I actually feel more present, knowing I’ll get my fill of deeper connection later, when it’s just a few of us in a more intimate setting.

As the holidays approach, consider leaning into what really connects us — sharing our time, support, and kindness. A little generosity can go a long way in making the season brighter and more meaningful for everyone, including ourselves.